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9 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Getting a Divorce

Fennell, Briasco & Associates understands how devastating it can be going through a divorce. Woodstock family lawyer, Caryn S. Fennell, has handled complex family law cases, and her law firm collectively has over 85 years in professional and legal experience.

Divorce brings up strong emotions, including anger, frustration, loneliness, grief, and sadness. Going through this roller coaster of emotions is completely normal, and it’s okay to feel these emotions fully. In fact, suppressing them can be extremely harmful to both your physical and mental health.

But even as you process your feelings and try to cope with loss, it’s important to not make rash decisions that make things worse and hurt your other relationships. Here are nine things you should try refraining from doing when going through a divorce.

1. Don’t expect a divorce settlement windfall

While it might be hard, don’t have unrealistic settlement expectations. For the main breadwinner, your money will be allocated to child/spousal support and the lower-earning spouse will have to contend with less support than they are accustomed to.

2. Don’t use the kids

It is also a difficult time for the kids, and being used as bargaining chips can have disastrous consequences. Children should not have to choose which parent they love more or whom they will testify in favor of.

3. Don’t attempt to hide assets

Keeping your assets hidden from your spouse is grounds for being held in contempt of court, and you could get sanctioned for it. Some states issue a temporary restraining order that prevents you from amassing huge debt or cashing in on your assets.

4. Don’t continue saving together

If you have a joint bank account and your monthly paycheck goes into that account, immediately cease these processes as soon as you file for the divorce. This will let you keep your subsequent paychecks to facilitate your new single life.

5. Try not to be spiteful

Don’t succumb to administering your own brand of justice, like making a bonfire from the other party’s valuables. Spite can work against you when laid bare in a court of law as it may paint you as unhinged. This is especially so if children are involved.

6. Try not to be surprised by what comes up during the divorce process

Don’t expect to share everything equally just because you bought it together. For example, the pet might go to one spouse, with no visitation rights for the pet.

7. Don’t be public with the divorce process

Serving divorce papers should not be handled in the public domain. Let the other party know in advance that they will be receiving the papers in order to prepare them emotionally. Such consideration can help take the sting out of the process.

8. Don’t be petty

Don’t fight over things neither one of you cares about just to make it difficult for the other person. Sometimes winning is not as important as peace of mind. There are more important things to work out, like custody of the kids and property.

9. Don’t rule out mediators

Trials can be costly, and it’s not just the financial costs that come into play; most people prefer to settle outside the court. Court-certified mediators can eliminate the need for lawyers and help you craft an agreement that is suitable for both spouses.

Divorce often brings up painful feelings, but it still can be an amicable agreement. It’s important to build a strong support system, try to stay objective, and not let emotions affect financial decisions.

Fennell, Briasco, & Associates understands how difficult going through a divorce can be, and can help you through the process. Fennell, Briasco, & Associates is proud to showcase a sample of our family law testimonials. While past results in no way guarantee future outcomes for new clients, we believe an attorney’s past performance is the best predictor of their future performance. If you have questions about getting a divorce, call Fennell, Briasco, & Associates today at (770) 956-4030 for a free consultation.